crypt | meme | #001 -- hardest words to say ( and i'd do anything to make you stay )

meme | #001 -- hardest words to say ( and i'd do anything to make you stay )

HARDEST THING TO SAY MEME

Sometimes the hardest things to say are also the most important. It doesn't matter how much it scares you to do so, it's finally time to be honest.

- post as your character.
- others go to RNG and roll numbers 1-22 then respond setting up a scenario.
- respond and have fun!

01. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE Unfortunately, you can't keep lying to your partner/friend/family anymore. You just don't feel the same for them anymore.
02. I WOULD KILL YOU The person who means so much to you has done something completely unforgivable and now it's time to make sure they know where they stand. You would kill them if you ever got the chance.
03. I LOVE YOU, BUT... A bittersweet love confession. You know you love this person more than anything, but you're not sure you can give them what they need.
04. I DON'T TRUST YOU No matter how you feel about this person, you really can't trust them anymore.
05. SACRIFICE You're going to sacrifice yourself, for the person you're talking with or for the good of all humanity. You want them to know the reasons and that there's no stopping you.
06. TROUBLE You're in trouble and you might not make it through. You need to let at least one person know how you feel before it's too late though.
07. CRIME CONFESSION You did something you weren't proud of and now it's time to admit it.
08. DEMONS We've all got our demons and we've all got our own personal nightmares we have to face, but this time? You can't hold it all back.
09. I'M PREGNANT... Now's not the best time for it maybe or maybe you're just nervous how your partner will react, but they need to hear it.
10. BETRAYAL You've betrayed this person and you have to tell them the truth, no more running from it
11. CHEATED You've been unfaithful and it's time to tell your lover.
12. BROKEN That's it. You've had it. You are entirely broken and tired of everything.
13. AFRAID Something has you deathly afraid and you need to talk about it.
14. HELP ME You need someone to help you, bad. You can't do it alone anymore, you've tried.
15. I'M SORRY You said something or did something horrible and now it's time to ask for forgiveness.
16. YOU WERE A MISTAKE Sorry, but whoever you're talking to was the biggest mistake of your life or maybe it was just something you did together.
17. NOT WHO I SAY I AM You're so far from who they think you are, you need to finally tell the truth.
18. LET'S RUN AWAY You want to just get out, leave everything behind and be with this one person for the rest of your life.
19. ASHAMED Either you're ashamed of something they have done or something you did, either way you need to bring it up.
20. CAN'T REMEMBER The person standing in front of you looks so happy to see you, so relieved, but how do you tell them you can't remember a thing about them?
21. HOW COULD YOU You don't understand how they could treat you like they have, do what they have done when you've done nothing but be good to them.
22. YOUR CHOICE Either choose an option from above, mix and match, or make up your own idea.

yep. totally stolen from memebells.
frolic with your subject lines and be free!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"That means a lot, Summer. A lot." That she would wait, that she thought he was worth the wait... and still it was just enough of a push, because while she would... he didn't want her to have to wait forever. He thought she had waited enough for all those things that she wanted, because he wanted them too. And even if they were just out of reach, still, they wouldn't always be. Those things they wanted would be within their grasp, and soon, he hoped.

He didn't get much more of a chance to think about it, though as she looked up at him and he realized she was right. It was dark enough outside now and the music was finishing off. "Seems like it," he smiled down at her, squeezing her fingers before moving to gesture that she sit on the sheet again. He moved to pull over the basket again, finally revealing what he had inside - that bottle of champagne and two flutes. "I thought we could have this just before things started to light up."

Of course he was worth the wait, he was everything she wanted, even without his memories. And she loved him. Because even if he couldn't remember, she knew that deep down he was still the same person that wrote her those beautiful letters full of his thoughts and fears and dreams. Maybe they were different now but still, she knew him. And wanted to know this new him more. No matter what, her affection wouldn't fade.

She stole one last kiss before she moved to settle down on the sheet again, gracefully sitting down with the biggest smile on her face. And just when she thought the evening couldn't be any more perfect-- "Champagne?" Honestly, her face might break now. She laughed happily as she leaned over to kiss his lips again and face, where ever she could reach. "Seriously, Leckie? You're the best."

The fact that she loved him either way meant more than he could say, more than he maybe even deserved, but he would work hard to make sure he deserved it, simply because she was just too important to lose. She had been his rock in this trying time, and he wanted to be that for her. He was pretty sure that was what marriage was about, and so that was what he would strive to be able to give her before he asked her. But he definitely planned to ask her, when he was able, and he just silently asked that she would wait just a little more.

Though right now she definitely seemed happy enough - he grinned broadly, though it didn't disappear as she leaned forward to kiss him, making him laugh and move to touch her side gently with his free hand. "I thought the occasion merited it," he said, when she'd given him enough room to speak. "And I think it will go perfect with those cookies you brought." He moved to twist a little so he could open the bottle with a loud pop!, letting it bubble over into the grass just a little before getting to work filling those glasses for them.

For someone who usually had nothing but impatience, Summer was infinitely patient in this. She'd wait for him, she'd wait for the thing she'd been dreaming of for years now. A life with him. No matter how long it took, she'd wait. He didn't ever need to ask.

And she grinned when he spoke, agreeing with a nod that the occasion definitely called for it. She moved so he could open the bottle and she could grab the cookies at his suggestion. "Good idea." She pulled out the cookies, unwrapping them on their plate and setting the snacks between the two of them. "This is so perfect."

Conversely, he couldn't help but eye those cookies as she set them out, happily handing over one of the champagne flutes and holding his up toward hers in an informal toast, though not before he'd taken just a moment to look at her sitting there, how pretty, how happy she looked. "It does feel perfect. To a perfect night, then, and hopefully to many more of them, too."

She caught him looking at her and blushed some, though it may not be noticeable in the dim light of the evening. Her eyes met with his and she smiled at him, "And to us." She tipped her glass to his before taking a nice sip, humming at the taste.

"Definitely to us," he murmured, as their glasses touched. He thought she might be blushing, yeah, but it was hard to tell. Either way, it was hard to tear his eyes off her... though he managed for a moment so he could go after a cookie. The champagne was crisp and cool as it slid down his throat, perfect for a hot summer evening - and he was glad it had stayed cool enough in the shade of the basket on the way over. And he hummed a moment later as he took a bite of their dessert, chewing as slowly as he could bear, savoring it. "I really love your cookies," he murmured, raising the remainder up almost as if in toast, too, before it went into his mouth. "And I was right - they go great with champagne."

She watched with pride as he ate her cookie with such relish, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she sipped on her champagne a few more times before reaching for a cookie herself. "Well they were made with love for you so..."

"And I think I can taste it," he teased, though he meant it, somehow they were just better than other cookies he'd had, her cookies always were. And once his mouth was free of crumbs, he leaned over to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "Thank you for making them," he murmured, before leaning back to let her eat her own cookie and to have a bit more champagne - and another cookie - himself. "I think this is far better than any fancy meal... not that fancy meals are to be underrated, either."

"It's my pleasure," she laughed a little, letting her eye flutter shut as he kissed her cheek. Her hand moves to rest on his leg, giving it a squeeze. She took another sip of her drink with a grin, glancing up at the sky when she heard the first firework shoot up. "I like both."

"Well, nothing wrong with liking both," he confirmed, because he did too, though he liked the closeness of sitting with her for a picnic like this, to be sure. He took one last sip of his champagne, moving to set it aside a little as he heard something in the distance -

The noise sent a little shock down his spine, making him blink as he shivered - but it was only the first firework, he realized, shaking his head a little and moving to sit a little closer to her, slipping an arm around her waist if she'd let him. He was actually really looking forward to the show, he hadn't seen fireworks in years and he couldn't think of a better way to enjoy them.

She heard the first pop off in the distance and her smile widened, not noticing Leckie's reaction the dark of the evening. But when he moved closer, she obliged him and moved even closer, letting him wrap his arm around her. She laid her head back against his chest a little, her own arm slipping around him as she looked happily as two more fireworks shot into the air, bursting with brilliant red and gold.

"So gorgeous."

Edited 2012-05-13 21:59 (UTC)

"Mm," he hummed... and they were, really they were - but they were also... unnerving. He couldn't explain it. All he knew was that every time one went up into the air, it shot tension and anticipation down his spine, but not in the way he'd expected. Excitement, yes, that made sense. But as the two next explosions lit up the world below in stark relief, all he could think was, gotta get down - gotta hide!. The thing was, he knew he was safe - but the more fireworks that blossomed in the sky, the harder it was to remember...

Because suddenly he was remembering something else - night after night of bombings, in clear detail, popping out one after the other in his mind. It was like someone had opened a floodgate, and it was all he could do not to gasp as his eyes seemed to swim with images; faces, events filled his field of view, while voices filled his ears even though everyone had fallen silent to watch the show. He could barely feel Summer leaning against him, he felt like every inch of his brain was on overload, like he was drowning and gasping for air.

She was enthralled with the lights, the colors of each new firework, each bursting into life with such beauty that it simply took her breath away. It took a moment but eventually, Summer could feel the tension in Leckie's body, she could feel the way his breathing seemed to change. She glanced up at him and saw the expression on his face, her smile fading immediately as she felt worry wash over her. "Leckie?" She turned her body towards his more, her hand reaching up touch his face, her own drawn up in an expression of concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

The touch to his face startled him - he jumped, but his eyes could only focus on Summer's in the sparking, intermittent bursts of light for just a second before she seemed washed away in everything that was trying to break loose inside of him. He felt like he had to get away - now - but where could he go? He pulled away from Summer halfheartedly, part of his body wanting to curl up on itself and hide, the other part wanting to run, and the two were enough at war with each other that he simply froze for a long moment, unable to do anything but let everything assault him like a tidal wave, arm going slack around Summer's waist. His head was filling up too fast, too much, and he never even felt his arms pull away from Summer's body, covering his head with his hands as his body finally curled up, knees to his chest as he knocked poor Summer out of the way (though at least without any intent or force at all) and tried to keep everything in. Because suddenly he felt like if he let go, it would all slide out of him, like water down a drain, and be gone again.

"Lecke, wha--" Her voice was full of confusion, her expression too as he pulled away from her then knocked her out of the way as he hastily pulled his body up into what was almost a fetal position, knocking over glass of champagne.

She jumped, almost up but more to her knees her face full of alarm, hands moving to his arms as they covered his head. It hit her then that the fireworks had to sound like explosions. And she was reminded of a few of the patients of the hospitals that were sensitive to certain sounds, it would trigger memories and that was all she could think that this was. "Robert," she said his first name in a soft but urgent voice. "It's okay, Bob. It's okay. It's just fireworks. You're safe, you're safe."

He would feel bad - terrible - later, not only for knocking her away but for ruining this special night, but right now he could barely think. The sounds were all around him, making him want to curl up tighter, to hide away from them so the Japs couldn't drop their bombs on him, because he so very clearly remembered the terror of those long nights on Guadalcanal when he was sure this would be the last thing he'd ever hear.

But something was pulling at him - not physically, but mentally. His name got his attention, if barely, and he couldn't help but try to make out those words, to find out who was calling him, talking to him through this onslaught. The voice was familiar - Summer, it was Summer, she was talking to him, she was trying to tell him something...

It was absurd, he felt anything but safe, not just from the noise outside but from the noise in his head, trying to drown out his very thoughts, He tried to nod - he wasn't willing to move an inch, couldn't get his arms to unlock or uncover his head, that was beyond his ability to control - but he tried to nod, tried to tell her he heard her, but he couldn't do anything past that, he could only lie there and let this come and try to weather it. Because hot on the heels of the memories of the war, of every awful day and night, something else was trying to break free - other Fourths of July, other fireworks displays, more names and faces and birthdays and Christmases and he couldn't help but let out a small sound, he was starting to think he might really drown and never be able to think a clear thought again.

She felt him curling up tighter, within himself and she didn't know what to do, what to say. She wanted to get help but she didn't want to leave him. And she was sure she couldn't get him up so they could just leave. And suddenly the wonder of the fireworks turned into anger at them. When would they just stop? Couldn't they stop already?

"Bob, it's me." She never had to deal with the boys who had shell shock, she wasn't allowed near them because they could be dangerous. She wasn't sure if she should try to hold him or if that would set him off. And for a moment she was a little scared of what this might make him do. Would he hurt her if she tried to touch him more? And even worse was the idea of him going into some sort of shock. God, how could she have been so selfish in wanting to bring him here? Why hadn't she thought of how fireworks would sound to him?

She reached up to comb her fingers through his hair as soothing as she could, though his hands covering his head made it difficult. "Bob, please. It's okay. You're okay." And that was all she could say, over and over, that it was okay, that he was okay, sometimes a few words of love. And the sound he made broke her heart, ripped it from her chest as she tried to pull him to her gently. She didn't know if people around them were noticing though they were in a secluded spot so maybe not. "It's okay. You're okay."

Please be okay.

She was really doing the best thing for him, holding him without grabbing, speaking softly, just letting him know he was okay. He wasn't in the kind of shock that would make him violent, he just... didn't know what was going on, didn't know what to do, almost paralyzed by the onslaught of memories that kept piling up in his head, a whole lifetime of them, things he knew he had known that had somehow been lost and were now all clamoring for attention at the same time.

But it wasn't Summer's fault, and he would tell her that a million times when this was over. He hadn't thought about the sound of the fireworks either, he had been looking forward to seeing them just as much. No one could have known what would happen, and in the end, it would have been a good thing. But right now he just felt overwhelmed, lost, and with the explosions still going on overhead, he felt terrified, too. But Summer was still there, still touching him, and for a moment he was scared for her, too - what if she was killed by a bomb? What if she was gone forever and he had to do this alone? - and without thinking one of his hands tried to find hers, tried to grab it, holding tightly as it maybe that would help, even if it didn't make much sense.

Fear gripped her and she started praying that the fireworks would just stop, that someone, anyone would notice and make them just stop for his sake. She never wanted to hear another popping sound again at this point. Her stomach twisted with nerves as he didn't seem to get better, the sounds and lights still firing overhead.

Just as she felt tears brimming, on the verge of falling, he grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. She moved closer to him, that one act proving to her that he knew she was there, that he needed her and wasn't going to hurt her. She gripped his hand back, tightly, pressing her lips to his head, whispering soft assurances loud enough that he could hear. "Promise. I promise you'll be okay. I'm here, I'm here. I'll always be here."

He felt her grab his hand back, that simple motion comforting even given that his mind was such a jumble he could barely think through it. He realized his lungs were burning - he didn't know the last time his body had unlocked enough to take a breath - and tried to get some air, gasping for breath a little as his heart pounded in his ears, loud, but not loud enough to drown out the sounds - or the soothing whispers of Summer's voice, telling him he was okay, that she would be there, telling him exactly what he needed to hear. His eyes were squeezed shut so tightly they almost prickled with tears at the pain, but he nodded again, it was all he could do - nod and try to breathe and try to keep swimming upstream against the current of memories in his head.

And finally - finally - after a small eternity, the flood of memories, images, and sounds finally seemed to be starting to slow, even if the bombs - no, fireworks, he tried to tell himself, but he still couldn't quite believe it - were still going off. His body was still locked up, curled up against Summer's, but he could feel it more - the present was starting to overshadow the past, just a little, hard through it was with all the noise overhead. He tried to blink his eyes open, but another explosion overhead made him shut them tightly; but he was trying to respond, trying to fight his way back to the present, squeezing Summer's hand again, trying to take deeper breaths, more even breaths, trying once or twice to gasp her name.

She could feel his struggle to come back to himself, she felt the way he was shaking, fighting, his breathing labored. And all she wanted to do was make it better. She kept on whispering to him, telling him that he was okay, they were okay, they were safe. She was holding him close, her hand in his, her other arm wrapped tightly around him, though she wasn't long enough to embrace him completely like this.

Her mouth pressed his temple gently just as the finale started and she heard him gasp her name. The fireworks shot off in a fury of light, burst and burst, no break in between, fifty something fireworks going off all at once. And she moved to her knees, trying to draw him to her gently, to keep him close because this had to be the scariest part. "Just fireworks. I'm here."

Just fireworks. He tried to tell himself that, but she was right - just when he'd started to regain control of his mind, of his surroundings, the finale sent off a frenzy of light and sound and he simply couldn't deal with it, not with the way his mind was telling him it was bomb after bomb falling closer and closer. His hand clutched hers harder as he tried to bury himself against her - later he'd probably be ashamed of his behavior, but right now he could barely control what he was doing, there was no way to stop. It felt like all he could hear was the explosions, but he could sometimes hear Summer, whispering that she was here, and he tried to hold onto that, to make her voice matter more than the other sounds, but it was hard.

And then it was over - it ended all at once, the last firework exploding to applause echoing through the park, and it was like someone had switched off something in his head because the silence that followed seemed to echo in his mind as well, leaving him a shaking, gasping wreck as he blinked open eyes that were wide, disbelieving as he tried to make the scene in front of him actually match up with what was going on inside his head. "Su-Summer -?" God, it felt like someone had driven a tank through his brain, he was thinking too fast and trying to make sense of things through molasses all at once.

By the end of it, by the end of something that used to thrill and delight her like nothing else, a few tears had slipped down her face, her hand felt numb as he grasped it tightly. And all she could do was shush him gently, rocking him as the last firework popped off and the applause came. She'd never cheer for fireworks again.

He came back to her a moment later, his eyes opening as he said her name, her own eyes opening as she moved so he could see her face. "I'm right here. You're okay. It's over now." She was thankful that he wouldn't be able to see the tears that had fallen before, she wanted to be strong for him now. "You're fine. It's over." Her hand reached out to touch his hair, other hand still squeezed tightly in his.

His head was still far too full, it felt, when in reality it was just that for the past few months - over a year, really - it simply hadn't been full enough. Now that it was quieter, everything was trying to settle... but he was still confused. "I can't - there's so much." He tried to take a breath, closing his eyes again, feeling like he just couldn't deal with the information his eyes were giving him right now. One thing at a time. Once his heart stopped pounding, once his head was quieter... maybe that would help.

But the first thing he realized, when things started to make sense (or at least tried to), was that he'd ruined everything. When he realized they were in the park, not on some hot jungle-covered island, he realized they'd been on a date, not the front lines... and he'd ruined it. He didn't even know what happened, but he'd ruined something he'd wanted to be special, and the look on her face only confirmed it. "Sorry - sorry, sorry," he tried to tell her, even though she was soothing him, he wanted things to be the other way around. He wanted to be the one to hold her, he'd never wanted her to have to do it, to have to sit there and take care of him and he would have tried to sit up himself but he simply couldn't stop shaking. "I didn't mean - I don't know what happened. I don't know -"

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