crypt | meme | #001 -- hardest words to say ( and i'd do anything to make you stay )

meme | #001 -- hardest words to say ( and i'd do anything to make you stay )

HARDEST THING TO SAY MEME

Sometimes the hardest things to say are also the most important. It doesn't matter how much it scares you to do so, it's finally time to be honest.

- post as your character.
- others go to RNG and roll numbers 1-22 then respond setting up a scenario.
- respond and have fun!

01. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE Unfortunately, you can't keep lying to your partner/friend/family anymore. You just don't feel the same for them anymore.
02. I WOULD KILL YOU The person who means so much to you has done something completely unforgivable and now it's time to make sure they know where they stand. You would kill them if you ever got the chance.
03. I LOVE YOU, BUT... A bittersweet love confession. You know you love this person more than anything, but you're not sure you can give them what they need.
04. I DON'T TRUST YOU No matter how you feel about this person, you really can't trust them anymore.
05. SACRIFICE You're going to sacrifice yourself, for the person you're talking with or for the good of all humanity. You want them to know the reasons and that there's no stopping you.
06. TROUBLE You're in trouble and you might not make it through. You need to let at least one person know how you feel before it's too late though.
07. CRIME CONFESSION You did something you weren't proud of and now it's time to admit it.
08. DEMONS We've all got our demons and we've all got our own personal nightmares we have to face, but this time? You can't hold it all back.
09. I'M PREGNANT... Now's not the best time for it maybe or maybe you're just nervous how your partner will react, but they need to hear it.
10. BETRAYAL You've betrayed this person and you have to tell them the truth, no more running from it
11. CHEATED You've been unfaithful and it's time to tell your lover.
12. BROKEN That's it. You've had it. You are entirely broken and tired of everything.
13. AFRAID Something has you deathly afraid and you need to talk about it.
14. HELP ME You need someone to help you, bad. You can't do it alone anymore, you've tried.
15. I'M SORRY You said something or did something horrible and now it's time to ask for forgiveness.
16. YOU WERE A MISTAKE Sorry, but whoever you're talking to was the biggest mistake of your life or maybe it was just something you did together.
17. NOT WHO I SAY I AM You're so far from who they think you are, you need to finally tell the truth.
18. LET'S RUN AWAY You want to just get out, leave everything behind and be with this one person for the rest of your life.
19. ASHAMED Either you're ashamed of something they have done or something you did, either way you need to bring it up.
20. CAN'T REMEMBER The person standing in front of you looks so happy to see you, so relieved, but how do you tell them you can't remember a thing about them?
21. HOW COULD YOU You don't understand how they could treat you like they have, do what they have done when you've done nothing but be good to them.
22. YOUR CHOICE Either choose an option from above, mix and match, or make up your own idea.

yep. totally stolen from memebells.
frolic with your subject lines and be free!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It definitely helped, that she let him drink it on his own, he already felt awful that he'd put her through... whatever this was, now, and for everything else, too, now that suddenly -

But she didn't understand - of course she didn't, he hadn't been very clear. It was hard, when he wasn't sure what had happened, himself, but he nodded when she said they were safe. He took another slow drink, trying to pull his teeming thoughts together into something clear enough so as to make sense. "I know - I know, we are, but... I mean, I know I thought we weren't, and it was awful, and I'm sorry." He wasn't sure he could ever tell her just how ashamed he was, just how sorry. "But even though it was awful - I mean, it knocked something - everything - losse. Summer, I remember my whole life, it's right here, it's... I feel like it's going to start pouring out my ears, but I remember it all. I remember you - " and saying that, he couldn't help but move to take her hand again - gently, so very gently, because if he'd actually hurt her, he'd never forgive himself. "And I'm sorry - God, I'm so sorry..."

Edited 2012-05-14 20:26 (UTC)

He'd been rambling and for a moment, she was scared that he'd completely lost it. But once he took another slow drink, seeming to compose himself a little, she shook her head at his apology. "It's okay, it's okay." Honestly, it was. She wasn't upset with him, she was just worried. But as he continued, she just blinked, the air leaving her lungs for a moment just as though someone knocked it from her body. "What--" she managed to barely get out in a breath. What did that mean? He remembered? Like actually remembered? Everything? She let him take her hand without any sort of of reaction as thoughts raced through her head. "What?" She shook her head at his apology once more, her eyes closing tightly for a second before she looked at him. "You remember what? Like... from before? Everything?" She was trying so hard not to get her hopes up, not to let herself believe that it was suddenly all fixed like she'd prayed and prayed for it to be.

He couldn't blame her, he hadn't been making much sense, though it was admittedly hard to make sense of something you didn't understand, yourself. He was still feeling beyond shaken - part of him wanted to tear his stifling uniform off and curl up in bed and just... sleep until things made sense again. But he didn't have that luxury, he was still in the park with Summer and he still wanted her to understand. He wasn't sure if her reaction was a good one or a bad one, and suddenly he was terrified that this would hurt things more than help them. But it was the truth, when he nodded weakly and said, "Everything. I mean - I think everything, it's... it's a lot. But I remember you and I remember... I remember being ten, and twenty, and I remember when you were ten..." He had to laugh a little, because some of those memories... oh, they were good, they were something he couldn't have known he'd missed until he had them back. "I remember leaving and I remember your face when I did, and I remember thinking I'd win the whole damn war myself in a month if I could get back that much sooner." Which, clearly, hadn't worked.

She could scarcely breathe as he explained, as he spoke about things that she didn't want to think about these months he'd been home. She'd tried to forget the past, to move on to the future with him. But as he said he remembered, everything, just like that, she couldn't help but look shocked for a moment. But then she let out a breath and just smiled, tears slipping down her face as she moved to hug him, unthinking of how that might make him feel but...

Oh, he remembered. Oh, her greatest fear was gone and here he was saying he could remember everything. And while he'd said he loved her just moments before, moments when he didn't remember anything, it felt so much better to know that he loved her both ways, that he wouldn't have to grapple with the sadness and frustration of a past lost. "Oh, Leckie. I love you no matter what."

It was true - seeing her suddenly break into tears wasn't the most reassuring thing she could have done, but he'd understand in a minute, and of course she couldn't control it. What she said wasn't entirely clear, but he couldn't help the way his shaking hands moved around her back as she hugged him, saying, "I love you, Summer - I loved you ten minutes ago when I couldn't remember a thing, but... I know why I loved you before, too." It was still just so overwhelming, he couldn't help the way he slumped a little, though he tried to hide it by curling around her a little more. It was confusing, like he didn't know what to remember first, and scary - what if it went away again, what if he could only remember when he was terrified for his life? But all he knew was that the past months had been hard on them both - and maybe harder on her than on him - and he was so sorry she'd had to go through it, but so glad she'd done it with him. "Are you okay?"

She couldn't understand why this happened or how he was feeling but she wasn't about to shun this utter blessing. And she was scared of the same thing, scared that this wouldn't last, that something would happen and he'd slip into something worse. But she tried to stay positive, holding him close as he held her closer. Her hands smoothed over his back, fingers going through his hair and tracing his spine as best she could with his clothes between them. "Of course I'm okay," she scoffed against his shoulder as she hugged him close. "Are you? You must have the world's biggest headache."

He couldn't help but hum quietly as her fingers moved over his hair and then his back, soothing him in a way simply nothing else could. It helped him to relax further, whether he realized it or not, as his eyes closed and he took a moment to breathe in the scent of her hair - familiar in so many ways, now, that it was just as calming and soothing as her touch.

"Me? I - I'm a little shaken up, I think," he admitted, not pulling back yet, part of him using her for support, still, and grateful to have it. "And I guess you could say that's about how my head feels. But I think... I'll be okay. This is good - better than good, right?" He laughed a little, pulling back finally as he realized, for the first time tonight, "I have my life back."

Being shaken up was understandable and the headache was too. Her fingers inched their way up to touch his temples, starting to rub just as he pulled back to look at her. And his realization became her own as well because that meant they had a life back, together. Her smile brightened, loving that small laugh of his as she leaned forward to press a tearful but happy kiss to his lips. "I love you." She exhaled, shakily against his lips before pressing her forehead to his for a moment of pure and utter relief. "You have it back and I'm here no matter what happens. I swear."

Oh, her fingers felt good, he couldn't help but lean into the touch just a little even as he interrupted her action by speaking. But it was worth it, because the way she smiled a minute later was better than just about anything he'd ever seen, and when his lips pressed to hers, there was so much joy, so much relief behind that kiss that he felt like he could barely contain it all. "I know you are," he murmured, not going far from her lips, feeling like he might really drown if he did. "I know... and I love you so much for it - for everything. Everything." Everything he could remember, everything she'd ever done for him, before or during these past months. "I want to be here for you - how you wanted me here the first day I got back."

She absolutely couldn't help the tears of joy, of relief that slip down her cheeks. She'd done so much crying these past few months, good and bad. But this time it was definitely good. Her fingers kept massaging his temples as she pressed a series of kisses to his lips, smiling between each one. "You've been here for me. I don't care if it's not the way I pictured it, you're still here." And it was better than the alternative, something she hated to ever think about. "I can't believe this... What can I do? Do you need anything? Should I get my father? Should we go to the doctor?"

It was true, he'd rather be here than dead on the other side of the world, but that hadn't meant that he hadn't wanted to be whole for her in a way he hadn't felt he was since he'd woken up after that blast. He just hadn't realized whole would feel so... overflowing. But the touch of her fingers was helping a little, as much as it could, and his eyes slipped shut for a moment as she kissed him, even though he could still feel the trails of tears on her cheeks - but he knew these were good tears, even as one hand shakily reached up to wipe at the damp skin of her cheek with his thumb, thinking she really had done enough crying, but he was glad she was crying now because she was happy.

His eyes finally opened at her questions, and he couldn't help but look a little helpless, and a lot bowled-over. "I... don't know. I guess I should go see a doctor - but right now it's probably out of the question." It was late at night, and a holiday, and going to the emergency room wouldn't do any good. "I still have to walk you home," he remembered, thinking that if she wanted her father to give an opinion on the subject... well, that could happen easily enough. "I'm all right - really. I'm sorry for how I acted - you must have been so embarrassed -" He glanced down at his hands, knowing she maybe hadn't minded as much as he thought she should, but still - "This wasn't how I wanted tonight to go, exactly."

She let him wip away her tears, tears that had slowed to a stop almost immediately afterwards. Her eyes opened to look at him, smiling softly as she realized there was something different about them even if in a moment he looked overwhelmed by her birage of a questions. And that was the last thing she wanted. "Sorry. I'm just worried about you. Maybe my dad can check you out once you get home. You can stay in the guest room, you know? You shouldn't be walking anywhere alone or driving." Not after that sort of... episode. She wouldn't stand for it, she'd be too worried about him if he tried.

Still, when he went on to apologize to say that she was embarrassed, she shook her head vehemently. "Robert Leckie. Don't. I was not embarrassed. I was worried. You couldn't help it and I don't care how it looked. But I'm pretty sure most people didn't notice." Though, she was pretty sure of the opposite. Others around them had to have noticed a little. But it was pretty dark now, people wouldn't have looked too hard. "Leckie, you getting your memories back? I mean, it was scary for you but... You have them. And that's a good thing. Better than good."

He nodded, smiling as best he could - which grew a little softer as she said he could stay at her house, that he shouldn't be going anywhere alone, even home to her uncle's. "We'd better call your uncle, or he might start some horrible gossip," he tried to jest, but he nodded at her demands. "But... I would appreciate it, if you and your father would let me stay. Just tonight. I'm sure I'll be better in the morning." Maybe his mind would have settled, maybe he'd just be used to the feeling of a whole lifetime of memories where before there had been none. Either way, he knew why Summer was insisting he stay, and he was happy to oblige her.

Though his smile grew sheepish a moment later and she berated him for even worrying about how she'd felt. "I hope not," he admitted, because Rutherford was a big town... but not that big. People talked. And if they started talking about how Summer was dating someone who'd lost his mind in the war... it could do a lot of damage. He didn't want that for her - or for him, no, he wanted to really think about getting his job back at the paper, now that he could properly remember it. And he nodded when she said it was a good thing, what had happened. "I guess I just thought it would be a little... slower. Or calmer, at least," he murmured, glancing up at her, moving his fingers to touch her hair now, just a soft, sweet gesture. "Not all at once during a fireworks show. I wanted to enjoy that with you. I've been looking forward to it all week."

"We'll call him and we'll take care of you." Because that was what she always wanted to do, take care of him, be there for him. Whatever this meant, she'd be there every step of the way if he'd let her. "Of course, you can stay. I won't take no for an answer." And that was the truth, she'd tie him to the bed if she had to but luckily he was agreeable to it.

She cared what people said about her, about them. There had been whispers around time after he got back with no memories, how Summer was fool to stay with him or how she was a saint. But Summer was neither of those, she was a girl in love with a boy who needed her support. It wasn't saint-worthy nor was it foolish. It was natural and right. But she hoped they didn't talk for his sake, for his pride because no amount of gossip could make her want someone else. "Me too, honestly. I just thought that you'd get bits and pieces for the rest of your life." Not a big explosion of memories. She worried that it might do some harm but she bit back her concern in place of joy and a soft smile at his words. "It's okay. You make me see fireworks every time we kiss so..."

He nodded - as much as he wanted to be self-sufficient, as much as he wanted to be the rock that supported her... he was sort of glad to hear her reassurances, that she'd take care of him, that he would be all right. Maybe it was just something everyone needed to hear, sometimes - either way, she wouldn't have to work too hard to get him to stay tonight. Not with how he felt; he knew they should get up soon, it sounded like the park had emptied out and even the walk back to her house felt like it was going to be a challenge.

But he wanted a few more minutes alone with her, just watching her in the dim light, glad that the park did sound emptier now, that no one had stopped to ask if he was all right. (Then again, did you really involve yourself with a crazy man? At least no one had tried to rescue Summer from him.) He knew some people hadn't liked the way she'd stayed with him even when he had come home knowing nothing about the life he'd left behind, but she'd had none of it - and she hadn't let him think much about it, either, insisting it wasn't important. Still, talk could be harmful, so he just hoped to do his best to act... well, normal, and make sure everyone knew he was better - and going to stay that way.

Still, he didn't know what it meant, getting it all back like this - or maybe it wasn't all of it, but it was an awful lot, and he had a feeling that now that the floodgates had been blasted open, anything else would be quicker to return, rather than slower. "Probably would have been less of a headache," he murmured, because he knew she was worried and he hated doing that to her, though he also knew nothing in the world would make her stop. And really... that was okay with him, as long as he could alleviate that worry eventually. Of course, at those words - "Oh, Summer - I think that's the best thing anyone's ever said to me," he grinned, fingers sliding down to touch the back of her neck, gently. "And now I can remember a lot of nice things, so that's really saying something."

Summer wanted more time with him alone too. And the walk seemed daunting to her as well, however she was worried that her father would worry if she stayed out too late but for now they were alright, she had mentioned they may stop for ice cream or something on the way home. Now that seemed so unimportant, not when she had the man she loved before her, almost completely with his memories once more. And sure, the way he got them was not how she wanted it but she cannot help but feel grateful and happy that he was back. Never crazy, just a little fractured, nothing that she couldn't handle or love. No one was perfect, least of all her with her temper and impatience and materialism from time to time. Let the jerks talk, she loved this man and he loved her, no matter the circumstances.

"Maybe I'm selfish but... I can't help but feel happy about. Not about the way it happened but... that it did," she admitted softly, her head lowering for a moment before he spoke again, touching her neck. Her eyes lifted to meet with his, a tender smile on her lips. "I'm only paying you back for all the best things you've ever written to me, said to me, etc." She pressed her lips to his, uncaring if anyone should walk by and think it a little scandalous. She wanted to kiss him, to reassure him, to love him because now she could, freely.

He knew they couldn't ignore the rest of the world forever - her father would worry - and he had pulled himself through worse than this. But another moment of respite, if he could have it... would be invaluable. He needed just a little longer to process, just a little longer with Summer here to reassure himself of his sanity, of her love, that nothing had been lost, only gained.

He shook his head, though, unable to stop smiling at her words. "No - I mean, I am, too. I guess... getting it all back slowly would have been easier, but... this is better. This is good. RIght?" He didn't have to wait to be the man she wanted - he was him, he could do that now - or, at least, very soon, because he might need a little time to settle, to recuperate a little more first. But like Summer had said before, he was here, and now he was whole, and what that meant for the future could only be good. But that was only about as far as his thoughts got before she moved to kiss him, and he might have said something else about how she didn't need to pay him back but he was too busy kissing her back, losing himself in that feeling, that gesture, because it was so warm and comforting and familiar not only from the distant past, but the recent past too, and the joy, the relief he could feel in her kiss was undeniable. And he'd been waiting to feel that for months.

But of course, it prompted him to say something horribly unorthodox, but suddenly the words were spilling out of his mouth, fueled by a desire he remembered feeling for years now, coupled with a new, parallel desire that he'd felt for months. "I love you, Summer - I've fallen hard for you, twice, and I have to wait to ask you, I can't do it right now, but I promise you... someday soon I am going to ask you to be my wife, and I hope you'll consider saying yes."

He remembered, now, almost writing something very much like that in a letter, once, when they'd told them that Peleliu would be fast and easy to take, that it would make a big difference, send the Japs running and how. But he never had, and then his memory of it had been gone, but now it was back and it seemed too important to ignore.

She wasn't going to rush him, not yet. They had time, they had time for him to collect himself. And for her to do the same, she was a little shaken herself even if it didn't show. She was processing, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Leckie was back, that her heartache no longer had to be there. And she was happy to be there to reassure him because it in turn reassured her.

"Of course it's good," she said. It was everything she wanted. But she wouldn't say that aloud because even if this was exactly what she craved, having him back to normal, she would've loved him just the same a without his memories. And she didn't want him to doubt that, not ever. And either way, he had loved her, that was all that mattered. The kiss shared between them reflected that, it was full of love and relief and just pure bliss. She couldn't help but feel that way, perhaps it was selfish but she didn't care right then.

Though when he broke the kiss and spoke again, the air was sucked out of her lungs for another reason, his beautiful, perfect words left her breathless for a moment. But not speechless. He wanted to marry her! He wanted to do exactly what she'd been dreaming of and this was as good as any proposal, maybe even better. Her arms flew around him and she almost tackled him with the force of her joy, pressing frantic kisses to his lips as his words echoed in her ears. I've fallen hard for you. Oh, Robert Leckie, Summer Roberts had fallen hard for you too, just once and it never, ever went away. In fact, she only fell deeper. Her hands slid to his face to hold, pulling him in for a slow kiss before she whispered-- "Of course, I'll marry you. I'll say yes because it's what I've been dreaming of all my life. I'll never ever love anyone more than I love you."

He wanted to make sure she was all right, too - he didn't want to get so wrapped up in how he felt that he neglected her, how this had been for her and how scary it had seemed, he was sure. Maybe it had been easier to be the one having the panic attack, she'd had to watch him lose control without having any idea of what was happening, and he couldn't imagine much that was scarier. He wanted to reassure her, too, in any way he could, and the stronger he got, mentally, the more he wanted to be there for her, show her she didn't have to be strong alone because her strength made him strong.

And that was part of the reason, he knew now, that he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Knowing she was waiting for him back home, hoping for him, had given him the strength and the desire to make it out of there and get back to her. And he'd wanted to promise her something better, that when he got home they could have that life together, but he'd been hesitant to write those words, feeling like they might backfire in some cosmic comedy that would end up with them shipping him home in a wooden box. But now he could ask her, now it was safe, and because now he knew that when he did, she would say yes. Maybe he'd never been worried that she wouldn't, but just hearing those words from her started a glow of warmth inside of him that did what nothing else yet that night had - calmed his shaking hands, steadied his heartbeat, made him lose himself in her lips and nothing else until he was gasping for air because of that kiss and nothing else. "Neither will I, I think we've proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt," he said softly, stroking her hair, just looking at her face, at how happy she looked, thinking this is it, this is the life I wanted back. "And it will never change. I need you, Summer. And I want to be there for you, when you need someone."

He'd been through much more than her, he'd been through something much more intense and scary than she could ever experience in her life time. But she'd felt helpless too, lost and scared, unable to help him much beyond help him ride it out. And she hoped it never happened again. She'd make sure of that with a no fireworks policy from now on, she decided that firmly.

She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, she had from the moment she realized she was in love with him. And she had written a letter saying as much, one that bounced back, just before he came home. It wasn't uncommon for the letters to return sometimes, she'd meant to resend it, to tell him, no matter how bold it might seem, that she wanted him and only him for the rest of her life. And now there was no doubt that she'd do it, that she'd say yes to him the day he asked her. "I need you," she managed to choke out against his lips, feeling the depth of that statement now more than ever. She'd been so close to losing him, for a while she thought she had. And when he came back and didn't know who she was, it shattered her heart. It was being mended, slowly. But tonight, it was as if all the pieces came flying back together in an instant.

"Then I'm not going anywhere, ever again," he promised her - and he wouldn't, he didn't care if another war broke out, he wouldn't volunteer, he'd stay right here, do something else to help. But he hoped to God that this war - that any more wars, too - was over, would never return, that they could be done with it forever. Because he knew now the life he'd wanted to come back to, and he planned to make it his, to make it hers, too - to give her everything she wanted. "And anything else you need... I want to give that to you, too. I have for a very long time." Because as he'd gotten to know her better, as they'd tried being together even when he couldn't remember... he'd found that all he ever wanted was to make her smile, to make her happy, keep her safe. That was just never going to change, and that was perfectly all right.

"I have it, right now. I have what I need." Her hands moved to his shoulders, thumbs brushing over the fabric of his jacket as she looked at him earnestly. "I need to you. And now I have you back. I don't want anything else but you." And she meant that with all her heart and soul, her eyes fluttering shut as she leaned forward to kiss him.

He hummed a little, something that sounded like, "Okay," though his lips were quite happily occupied brushing over hers. Because all of it was just fine with him - he wanted to be what she wanted, what she needed, and he planned to make sure that he was. His hands finally slid down her ams a little, then her sides, resting gently at her waist, sliding around to the small of her back as he held her close. "You've got me, Summer Roberts - I promise you that."

He wanted to keep kissing her like this forever, but he knew he couldn't - it was long after the fireworks had ended now, and he knew that her father wouldn't wait for them forever. "We should think about packing ourselves up," he murmured, more than a little reluctantly, into the space between one of their slow kisses. "I feel a lot better now, thanks to you."

You've got me, Summer Roberts - I promise you that.

Those words made her heart swell up ten sizes bigger than it should. He held her close, his hands touching her in ways that made her shiver just a little, though she wasn't sure why. It just felt good. Her hands smooth down his chest, tracing the lines of his jacket and the lapels as well. "And you've got me."

Of course, when he suggested that they should get going, she knew he was right. "Daddy's probably going to send a search party out eventually," she replied as she nodded with a smile, moving to kiss him again. "Good, that's what I was aiming for."

He wasn't even thinking about how he was touching her - not really, just that he wanted to feel her under his fingertips, warm and real and solid and everything he wanted, and he never wanted to let her go. And he found himself leaning eagerly into her touch, into the way her hands slid over his chest, smiling so broadly it felt like his face might crack when she said those same words back to him, that he had her - because really, she was all he wanted. The rest of his life could fall - had fallen - to pieces, but as long as he had her... things would be all right.

"That would be... awkward," he agreed, teasing as she said her dad might send out a search party. But oh, he drew out that kiss as long as he could, nodding a little against her lips when she said that him feeling better was what she wanted. "I hope you do, too... even if the fireworks show was a bit of a loss." He smiled at her, though, stealing one or two more kisses before he started looking for things to gather up, cleaning up their little picnic so they could get themselves on their way. At least his wish had come true - "I think we're the last ones left here." Except maybe for the band, still breaking things down, but they were off in the gazebo in the distance, not going to pay them any mind.

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oh god tl;dr D:

but I love it

<333

Re: <333

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