[She's silent as Utena cries and pleads. She's still as she's clung to, accepting the burdensome anguish as though it were her own.
Mami doesn't know Anthy's fate. All the girl means to her is some confusing, twisted fragment of a dream that wasn't her own; blank eyes and empty smile, innocuous words that were like a fist in Mami's gut all the same. The way she had made the Soul Gem glow like only a Witch could - calling to mind, irrevocably, of the creatures of despair and hatred that used to be children trying to be heroes. Reminding Mami of her own death and the fate that would have awaited her should she have escaped it, feeding that kneejerk reaction of fear and disgust and guilt. Utena has mentioned Anthy in offhand comments, snippets of description that hint at someone beyond the figment.....yet it's that unsettling first impression that managed to stick, mixing with her own repressed jealousy over the dim realization that Anthy will always, always come first. The knowledge that Utena yearns to return to Ohtori for her sake, the Witch's sake- a thought as unfair and hypocritical as it was stubborn.
And Mami knew it. Anthy was the Rose Bride - not treated as a person with a voice and will of her own, but fought over as a possession. A surely miserable existence, nothing to envy. If Mami had seen what Utena had, the girl dressed in scarlet and pierced through with thousands upon thousands of shards....what Mami already chose now, here, wouldn't be for Utena's sake alone.]
I love you, too. That's why I can do this, why I want to.
[She pulls back just enough for their gazes to meet, for Mami to reach up with one soft hand and brush away the tear trails with an impossible gentleness. Her smile hasn't wavered, hasn't dimmed.]
I'm sorry for making you cry, but.....don't be sorry for your devotion to your ideals, to the promises you make. It's one of the things I like about you.
LAST EDIT I SWEAR
Mami doesn't know Anthy's fate. All the girl means to her is some confusing, twisted fragment of a dream that wasn't her own; blank eyes and empty smile, innocuous words that were like a fist in Mami's gut all the same. The way she had made the Soul Gem glow like only a Witch could - calling to mind, irrevocably, of the creatures of despair and hatred that used to be children trying to be heroes. Reminding Mami of her own death and the fate that would have awaited her should she have escaped it, feeding that kneejerk reaction of fear and disgust and guilt. Utena has mentioned Anthy in offhand comments, snippets of description that hint at someone beyond the figment.....yet it's that unsettling first impression that managed to stick, mixing with her own repressed jealousy over the dim realization that Anthy will always, always come first. The knowledge that Utena yearns to return to Ohtori for her sake, the Witch's sake- a thought as unfair and hypocritical as it was stubborn.
And Mami knew it. Anthy was the Rose Bride - not treated as a person with a voice and will of her own, but fought over as a possession. A surely miserable existence, nothing to envy. If Mami had seen what Utena had, the girl dressed in scarlet and pierced through with thousands upon thousands of shards....what Mami already chose now, here, wouldn't be for Utena's sake alone.]
I love you, too. That's why I can do this, why I want to.
[She pulls back just enough for their gazes to meet, for Mami to reach up with one soft hand and brush away the tear trails with an impossible gentleness. Her smile hasn't wavered, hasn't dimmed.]
I'm sorry for making you cry, but.....don't be sorry for your devotion to your ideals, to the promises you make. It's one of the things I like about you.