I hate to break it to you kid, but you're about as uncool as it gets. But you've never disappointed me, ever.

[Someone alert the presses, Bro Strider had a moment of sincerity. Maybe the overdose of tentacle gore porn messed with his head more than he originally thought.]

You seriously think I give a shit if you're scared by a stupid movie? It's a horror movie, it did its fucking job. It's not like I'm going to toss you out onto the street for not being an emotionless statue.