[At first, Mami does nothing. Her arms are locked at her sides; she's stiff, unresponsive, as if frozen within this moment by Utena's embrace. The other girl is warm, her hug gentle and comforting in a way that Mami's longed to know since long before that day by the tree. She's wanted to claim it for her own, to not have to share it as she's had to share almost everything else. To have Utena's presence fill up her days and nights, that's what Mami most desires - not this consolation prize of a single afternoon.
And so, perhaps unsurprisingly, those words miss the mark. Mami has to swallow hard to speak when the spell breaks, and when she does, it's only to find that her composure has unraveled at the seams. Raw emotion seeps in like a stain, like a spreading bloom of blood on bandages that were once pristine and perfect.]
...How can you ask me not to be sad? You- you really think it's that easy? My friends aren't you. I- [Her hands - small, delicate, trembling - curl into Utena's sleeves. The grip is loose even as Mami presses her face into the crook of Utena's shoulders so that her tears are only heard and not seen.] I'm going to lose you, I'm going to lose the only person I've ever loved, and- and I'll probably never see you again. Nothing to cry over....ha, then why am I crying now....? It's stupid.
[Her fingers go slack, slip away from Utena's arms. Mami leans back, rubbing her eyes...] You're really dumb sometimes, you know? Almost as dumb as me. [...and then she's pushing Utena away, gently but firmly, standing up and taking a few steps away. She stares at her feet to hide the look in her eyes that she's too exhausted to bury - the look of someone crushed, inconsolable. Why? Why does everyone and everything she's ever cared about always slip through her fingers? No matter what, every time. Perhaps there's no point in having hope after all....and instead of shaking off these dark thoughts, as she's managed to do so many times before, Mami allows it to cloak her brain in a dull and stifling shadow.] Thank you for coming to see me, and for returning my feelings, but you should go. You have to revolutionize the world, remember?
[Her hands curl into anguished fists at her sides, yet her voice is strengthless now, without bite. Tired, spent, Mami can no longer summon the will to put on a brave face. Not even for Utena, not even for the sake of making the most of their last precious moments together. Things are only painful now in a new, awful ways she couldn't have predicted.]
That place....and that girl....they're waiting for you. They've been waiting this whole time, right? So you better get going.
[She turns her back on Utena, folds her arms as if it could keep the pieces of herself from falling to the ground.]
tab shortened the notif to "quick tag before work [cry", appropriate
And so, perhaps unsurprisingly, those words miss the mark. Mami has to swallow hard to speak when the spell breaks, and when she does, it's only to find that her composure has unraveled at the seams. Raw emotion seeps in like a stain, like a spreading bloom of blood on bandages that were once pristine and perfect.]
...How can you ask me not to be sad? You- you really think it's that easy? My friends aren't you. I- [Her hands - small, delicate, trembling - curl into Utena's sleeves. The grip is loose even as Mami presses her face into the crook of Utena's shoulders so that her tears are only heard and not seen.] I'm going to lose you, I'm going to lose the only person I've ever loved, and- and I'll probably never see you again. Nothing to cry over....ha, then why am I crying now....? It's stupid.
[Her fingers go slack, slip away from Utena's arms. Mami leans back, rubbing her eyes...] You're really dumb sometimes, you know? Almost as dumb as me. [...and then she's pushing Utena away, gently but firmly, standing up and taking a few steps away. She stares at her feet to hide the look in her eyes that she's too exhausted to bury - the look of someone crushed, inconsolable. Why? Why does everyone and everything she's ever cared about always slip through her fingers? No matter what, every time. Perhaps there's no point in having hope after all....and instead of shaking off these dark thoughts, as she's managed to do so many times before, Mami allows it to cloak her brain in a dull and stifling shadow.] Thank you for coming to see me, and for returning my feelings, but you should go. You have to revolutionize the world, remember?
[Her hands curl into anguished fists at her sides, yet her voice is strengthless now, without bite. Tired, spent, Mami can no longer summon the will to put on a brave face. Not even for Utena, not even for the sake of making the most of their last precious moments together. Things are only painful now in a new, awful ways she couldn't have predicted.]
That place....and that girl....they're waiting for you. They've been waiting this whole time, right? So you better get going.
[She turns her back on Utena, folds her arms as if it could keep the pieces of herself from falling to the ground.]