He wanted to make sure she was all right, too - he didn't want to get so wrapped up in how he felt that he neglected her, how this had been for her and how scary it had seemed, he was sure. Maybe it had been easier to be the one having the panic attack, she'd had to watch him lose control without having any idea of what was happening, and he couldn't imagine much that was scarier. He wanted to reassure her, too, in any way he could, and the stronger he got, mentally, the more he wanted to be there for her, show her she didn't have to be strong alone because her strength made him strong.
And that was part of the reason, he knew now, that he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Knowing she was waiting for him back home, hoping for him, had given him the strength and the desire to make it out of there and get back to her. And he'd wanted to promise her something better, that when he got home they could have that life together, but he'd been hesitant to write those words, feeling like they might backfire in some cosmic comedy that would end up with them shipping him home in a wooden box. But now he could ask her, now it was safe, and because now he knew that when he did, she would say yes. Maybe he'd never been worried that she wouldn't, but just hearing those words from her started a glow of warmth inside of him that did what nothing else yet that night had - calmed his shaking hands, steadied his heartbeat, made him lose himself in her lips and nothing else until he was gasping for air because of that kiss and nothing else. "Neither will I, I think we've proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt," he said softly, stroking her hair, just looking at her face, at how happy she looked, thinking this is it, this is the life I wanted back. "And it will never change. I need you, Summer. And I want to be there for you, when you need someone."
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And that was part of the reason, he knew now, that he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Knowing she was waiting for him back home, hoping for him, had given him the strength and the desire to make it out of there and get back to her. And he'd wanted to promise her something better, that when he got home they could have that life together, but he'd been hesitant to write those words, feeling like they might backfire in some cosmic comedy that would end up with them shipping him home in a wooden box. But now he could ask her, now it was safe, and because now he knew that when he did, she would say yes. Maybe he'd never been worried that she wouldn't, but just hearing those words from her started a glow of warmth inside of him that did what nothing else yet that night had - calmed his shaking hands, steadied his heartbeat, made him lose himself in her lips and nothing else until he was gasping for air because of that kiss and nothing else. "Neither will I, I think we've proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt," he said softly, stroking her hair, just looking at her face, at how happy she looked, thinking this is it, this is the life I wanted back. "And it will never change. I need you, Summer. And I want to be there for you, when you need someone."